Let me set the scene for you – It’s 1030 and someone in the office has thoughtfully brought in morning tea. There are warm brownies, fresh coffee, some strawberries and blueberries on the side… but oh, those brownies… they smell divine. You have your coffee in one hand, brownie in the other and are just about to take your first bite of that chocolatey goodness when someone says “well, there goes my diet”, followed by “I am so glad I went to the gym this morning”, followed by “oh, I really shouldn’t”… and suddenly that brownie, that warm piece of deliciousness that you were so looking forward to, looks like one of the seven sins… gluttony. And even when you forge ahead, in your mouth it now tastes like sawdust… and the joy of the moment is lost.
That, my friends, is what I refer to as “Cake Talk”.
In my office Cake Talk is banned – outright. I will not tolerate people eating food while narrating the joy out of it.
Of course, Cake Talk is not an easy topic to broach or police. Quietening the Cake Talk often makes you the bad guy. “Oh, easy for you to say Fluffy, you never gain weight.” “Yes, well if I still had your metabolism Fluffy…” Whatever! It’s called exercise and moderation, my friends. But the point is, I don’t discuss those matters when I am eating cake. It’s important to be in the moment when there is cake or anything sent from the heavens involved. It’s disrespectful to the cake, the maker of the cake and to everyone else enjoying the cake, to regurgitate it in the form of guilt.
And that’s what Cake Talk is. It’s your guilt. Your self-doubt. Your ego. Your one-upmanship. Cake Talk is years and years of reading magazines that judged your body, that told you how to dress and that no matter how hard you tried you wouldn’t be enough. Cake Talk is the media that compared you to other women, that told you summer was coming and it was time for a new diet. Cake Talk is a lifetime of justifying everything you put in your mouth in front of other human beings because you have been brainwashed to believe that finding pleasure in food is bad and that you are unable to make sensible choices.
And it’s messing up everyone else’s cake experience, as well as your own – so open your mouth, put that cake in it, close your eyes and enjoy. Just enjoy. Give yourself permission, for just one mouthful, to relax, let go and enjoy. Just like an orgasm. A cake orgasm.
Because you are enough. You are not comparable to other people. The person next to you doesn’t care that you went to the gym this morning. No one cares that you are on a diet and no one wants to hear how many calories are in the brownie. No one.
And if you can’t help yourself, if self-censorship is just beyond your capability right now, then please – Leave. The. Room. And take your Cake Talk with you.