Comment on Walking with keys… by Kezunprepared.
This is a fantastic post. Every word of it resonates with me, as I am sure it does with so many other women. All of the thoughts and strategies you described have been mine too (and then some). It’s funny, we get so used to thinking like that. We almost forget to question it. It just becomes a part of our every day lives. We probably don’t even think to mention it to other people in our lives and start important conversations about it. We NEED to question it (as you have done so eloquently). We NEED to think it’s outrageous that we live in a victim blaming society. We NEED to say enough is enough with the awful rhetoric we hear about women all the time. We don’t even realise that we are being oppressed, thanks to the perpetuation of this fear of the boogeyman.
There is a place for common sense (it’s not a perfect world) but there should be no place for women feeling like they are responsible for what does or does not happen to them.
Recent Comments by Kezunprepared
Just. Get. Off Me.
I hear you. Sounds like you’ve had a rough trot! I’d be bat shit crazy by now. In fact, I’ve been beginning to feel it and I haven’t had half the shit you’ve had to deal with! I’m at that point (I can always feel it’s about to tip over into insane lady territory) where I know I need to find SOME WAY to be alone or child free for a bit. To do something just for me. I love my kid like crazy and by no means is he a bad or difficult kid (he could be much worse) but he’s full on and it’s relentless!! I sometimes have to stop myself from snapping at him for just being a kid. I do look forward to him going back to school. I want to get my hair did and go to work!
#itsinthebag this Christmas
I love this initiative so much. I don’t think I have a handbag to fill this year, but I have resolved that I will drop off sanitary items at a drop off centre (they have a box for it at the local swimming centre and I will be there a lot over the school holidays) and will participate for next Christmas.
I have so much empathy for what you went through and for what these women have been through. Having once been on the receiving end of verbal and emotional abuse (always worse when drinking was involved), I feel so fortunate to be in a good place with a good man. I really want to give back more. DV is never as simple as those fortunate enough to not experience it think.
To hashtag or not…
Some very good fuel for thought. I have been ‘hash tagging’ less lately. The ‘thoughts and prayers’ only go so far. I’ll comment if something feels like it needs to be said, but I definitely think carefully before joining the chorus of hashtaggers. It can be comforting when you see solidarity for a cause around the world, but it can also be a device that makes everything (even tragedy) a marketing tool or a troll magnet. Yuck.
You’ve Been Tindered
Interesting. I was going to let you know that one of my best friends found love on Tinder but then I realised the only reason they met up was because I showed up as a mutual Facebook friend! So technically, it wasn’t Tinder that did it. It was just a digital way of meeting through a friend as my bestie said she’d never have gone to meet him if I hadn’t told her more about him and assured her he was meetable.
I wonder how many ‘we met on Tinder’ stories are more like my friend’s than the app being magical.
Yes – the competition is silly. I am a parent and while sometimes I might be guilty of (internally) rolling my eyes when a child free adult talks about being soooooo tired from all their social events they’ve been attending lately, I make a big effort to never be smug about knowing what lack of sleep is, just because I’m a parent. Who wins that competition, anyway? I remember being fucking exhausted while I was studying, while I was working full time, when I was a freakin’ kid with no responsibility except to graduate high school. Some people simply suffer from insomnia thanks to anxiety or other conditions. We are all tired adults with responsibilities! We all should be able to whinge about it!
Empathy is good! x